Saturday in Van Nuys


Dear sir taking off
your pants outside of Target –
what is wrong with you?!

They have a restroom.
Were you born inside a barn?
(No, you’d change inside.)

From my vantage point
you are bent, taking them off –
also backing up.

Changing to bike shorts,
no one wants to see your briefs –
or anything else.

What is wrong with you?
Just Saturday in Van Nuys –
what is wrong with me?

If you’ve never been (and there’s no need to visit, trust me) Van Nuys is a weird, sketchy part of Los Angeles. I mean, there are a good number of weird parts and sketchy parts of LA, but Van Nuys is a Venn diagram of both sectors.

So on the one hand you might think,

“Well, dude is taking off his pants outside the entrance to Target, what’s new?”

but then you think

“Dude is taking off his pants outside the entrance to Target! In front of me! As I’m walking down the stairs from the 3rd floor in the parking garage! And he’s backing up nearly to the front of the stairs! Stay away, weirdo!”

We normally don’t go to Van Nuys but we needed to get a prescription from that Target. Yayyyy. Anyway, there’s the backstory.

4 thoughts on “Saturday in Van Nuys

  1. Blenda

    Didn’t your parents teach you to stay out of those type of places!? …..Like you have much control over the situation. Weirdness is all around us, unfortunately.


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